Adoption Books for Adults

Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming America
by Adam Pertman
~~$16.95~~ $11.02 On Sale!
In this revised edition of Adam Pertman's award-winning book, first published in 2000, readers will find updated information on every aspect of adoption and its changing role in American society. Pertman suggests ways our laws should be changed to improve the adoption process and remove the obstacles that keep the children who most need permanent homes from getting them.

Pact says: A Pulitzer nominated journalist, Pertman argues against adoption for profit and highlights positive adoption impacts on society.
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Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption
by Patricia Dischler
~~$16.95~~ $11.02 On Sale!
This unique blend of Patricia's personal story (20 years post-placement) combined with her advice and research as to what expectant parents considering an adoption can anticipate at each stage of the process is very helpful because it goes beyond the placement to adulthood of the child placed for adoption. Patricia is careful to a fault not to overstep her boundaries by trespassing on her son's adoptive mother's territory, and she is thoughtful and articulate in her advice and insight.

Pact says: by a welcome voice that is too often under represented in the world of adoption.
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Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens
By Debbie Riley & John Meeks
$19.95
This book gives clinicians and therapists insight into adopted teens and is an important new contribution to the field of adoption. Adopted teens are facing complex issues that require therapists and clinicians who are educated about their unique struggles. The authors identify six adolescent "stuck spots" and discuss some of the ways that therapists and parents can help children process the issues when they arise.

Pact says: Directed to clinicians, this book is very useful to parents as well - offering insight into what adopted teens are feeling. Excellent resource!
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English American, The
by Allison Larkin
$24.00
Never overly negative or treating adoption as if it is a disease, Alison shares great insights into some of the ways that adoption impacts our experience in the world and the way we look at things. This novel is perfect for anybody wanting to explore the journey of an adoptee and the honest feelings that it includes. With an authentic adopted heroine at its center, Larkin's compulsively readable first novel unearths universal truths about love, identity, and family with wit, warmth, and heart.

Pact says: A laugh-out-loud, cry-because-you-care kind of read. Really worthwhile.
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How To Open An Adoption
by Patricia Martinez Dorner
$14.95
A guide toward opening adoptions for adoptive parents, birth parents of minors and professionals. This book covers the benefits of opening adoptions; the issues raised if the request is initiated by adoptive parents or birth parents; professional help; preparation for contact; the first visit; the role of commitment of all the adults; when there is inequality among adoptive siblings; reopening open adoptions and more.

Pact says: Adopted children shouldn’t have to wait until they are eighteen to have their questions answered. Contact allows children to receive answers directly.
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In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption
by Elisabeth O'Toole
$14.95
A book written forextended family and friends of adoptive families, In On It provides as solid introduction to the world of adoption. There are some great explanations about why new families might need space at first and the very particular kinds of support that parents adopting older children might need. And the way O’Toole addresses the need to respect a child’s privacy and a child’s birth family/country of origin were probably the best part of the book.

Pact Says: O'Toole gets a major ding for her discussion of adoption records, where she states that adoption records were sealed and legally inaccessible IN THE PAST, unfortunately this is still true in most states in 2013! To the authors credit, she has changed this for the 2nd printing.
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Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited
$16.00
What Begins as an Adult Adoptee’s search for a birthmother, transforms to a search for an Identical Twin and the mysterious circumstances surrounding their separation as infants. After discovering they were part of a “Nature vs. Nurture” social experiment that resulted in the authors separation and placements into different Adoptive families.

Pact says: A fascinating story told in 1st person about the twins' life experiences having been adopted into separate families and then reuniting more than 30 years later. Themes include the problems of sealed adoption records, the potential for unethical practices by adoption agencies, and adoptees' unique perspective of the world.
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Learning the Dance of Attachment
by Holly van Gulden & Charlotte Vick
$20.00
A small book that packs a huge punch. Filled with practical advice and specific suggestions for how to enhance attachment in children of all ages, this books is popular for all families that have worked with Holly or know her work. As a parent herself, Holly understands that attachment is a lifelong process of learning to trust and believe in the relationship of adoption.

Pact says: The book gives parents and children real encouragement as they solidify their mutual attachment, which leads to children behaving better and parents feeling confident. Really helpful, especially for families with challenging children.
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Lifebooks; Creating A Treasure For Your Child
by Beth O'Malley
$14.95
This book offers clear advice about how to create a lifebook with your child stressing its importance in strengthening self esteem and identity. Filled with examples and suggestions for difficult subject matter.

Pact says: Because there has been a disconnection in the life of every adopted child, even if adopted at birth, it is very helpful to have recorded information about children’s personal history. And remember, it is never too late to create a lifebook with your child and this book has great suggestions for conversations and activities that will promote further discussion and insight for children.
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Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties Through Open Adoption
by Micky Duxbury
$23.95
Micky, a therapist as well as an adoptive parent (and Pact member!), interviewed hundreds of triad members about their life stories and experiences with open adoption. Based on interviews with over one hundred adopted children, birth and adoptive parents, extended family, professionals and experts, this book is an effective and invaluable resource.

Pact says: There is no other book that offers a compilation of first hand stories of families living with open adoption. It is especially useful for those considering open adoption as it demystifies and offers a realistic model for what is best for kids. Kudos!
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Message From An Unknown Mother
by Xinran
$25.00
Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother is a really powerful, painful book to read, yet it is filled with details and insights that are not written elsewhere and explain complex and difficult stories behind adoptions in China. Xinran writes from her own perspective as someone who lost her mother to the Cultural Revolution. (They were separated for much of her childhood.) That experience drives her need to communicate with children placed for adoption in China and explain their loss.

Pact Says: Xinran writes with extremely raw and compelling insight into the landscape of Chinese adoptions.

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Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma
by Deborah Gray
~~$24.00~~ $15.60 On Sale!
With higher and higher percentages of children joining their families through adoption, both parents and the professionals with whom they consult need new skills. From the author of Attaching in Adoption (a former Pact favorite!) comes this new tool designed to help placement professionals and therapists understand adoption, attachment and research on the impact of neglect, abuse, early trauma, and institutionalization on the developing brains of children can guide their practices in new directions.

Pact says: We recommend it for parents who want to practice therapeutic parenting strategies as well.
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Parenting Adopted Adolescents: Understanding & Appreciating Their Journeys
By Gregory Keck, Edited by Lynda Mansfield
$17.99
Written in a casual, accessible style, Keck's underlying point is that all children who are adopted into their families must deal with the developmental issues of adolescence as well as adoption-related issues, either simultaneously or alternately. Keck mines his experience as a clinician and includes stories from his many years of practice. Keck's personal and professional experience allow him to write with expertise and a special sensitivity to teens who come from chaotic beginnings and have lived in multiple foster homes, and to the issues of young men, in particular.

Pact says: Beth Hall, Pact’s Director, her children and several other Pact teens contributed to this volume.
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Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families
by Jayne Schooler, Betsy Keefer & Timothy Callahan
$17.99
The book offers a detailed look at the importance of attachment and what happens to a child cognitively, psychologically and behaviorally when it does not take place. While the book is not without optimism, it is realistic about what parenting a traumatized child can be like and the impact it has on parents and families.

Pact says: The books strongest function is in providing an overall picture and a wealth of information about the possible issues and their root causes, as well as pointing out red flags, both in a child’s behavior and in the dynamics of potential adoptive families.
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